Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

I've been having a couple of conversations as of late about this thing we call love. Now before we can even have a serious discussion about the term "love", we must first have a working understanding about what it is exactly. Many arguments and disagreements begin over different understandings and interpretations of this word. For example, a man can say to a woman, "I love you woman", but in his mind the meaning of love is "damn woman you so fine, you can cook, the sex is great, damnit I love you!" and a woman could say "I love you man" and mean "you're faithful, you keep me safe and secure, and you're a good listener, plus you're good in bed". Although they are both using the same word, there are some differences in what is meant by the word. As of late I've been asked by some sisters "Do you love me?" "Do I make you happy?" and my answer is sweetly and seriously "no" "No I love..." "No I'm happy...". Now some may say "damn that's cold" or "damn what a jerk" but give me a second to clarify what I mean by Love. I don't mean love the way the dictionary means I don't mean love as a deep feeling of affection or sexual desire or attraction or attachment... not that these thing s are bad but its just not what I mean :~). By love I mean I understand and by understand I mean I recognize the underlying connection/relationship between all things and think, live, and act accordingly. In other words, I recognize the interconnectedness (inter/inner) of all life and understand we all need others to exist in this Uni(one)verse. So lets get to the heart of the matter.

No, I Love...

If love is understanding, and understanding is recognition of an inherent interconnection and oneness I know you're thinking why do I say no when asked if I love this or that person. The reason is because Love is an aspect of Being. It is my inner connection to ALL. And in my recognition of this connection I know its not to love this or love that particular thing or person but just to Be my Self! To Love! To be a loving Person. This is why I say Love is not attachment. It is obvious that our persons are not connected. We are surely separate in form....but ONE in essence. So to say that I love a particular person or a particular thing is to say that I love the Form which is nothing more than attachment to the form which will always constantly change. You see this is a problem with our usage of the word. We use it in reference to our attachment to the forms that are in our lives. So one may say "I love a certain person" but as soon as the Form changes i.e. the person is no longer a certain way that you've attached your mind and attention to, our "love" changes and leaves with the form...."I used to love but then!!!" lol.

To Show Love You Gotta Know Love

How can one show something, or give something they've never known? Most people live viewing others as a means to an end. They only do things for people based on what they can get out of people in return. Or they give out of some tainted sense of self righteousness....i.e. its mandated in their religion as a ticket to heaven. But I look at it like this...Love is selflessness. If I am (my essence not my form) one with all, then what I give, or do for others I ultimately do for SELF. But only through Knowledge of Self can one truly know/show love. Otherwise we go on in life "loving" based on getting for our form in which we think we are. Love for SELF is selflessness....Love for Forms is Selfishness! (Y'all think over


Remember when we used to play? Yea Play! We would go outside and play with those around us. Have you ever noticed how children will always play together! Even if they don't know each other they will play together. Even if they fight one another...they will go back to playing together. There is no sense of what I can get from so and so down the line or any hidden agenda or manipulative motives behind their playing. They are not thinking about how the next child will add to their form. All that exist for children is enjoyment of playing in the now. This is innocence. This should not be lost because we become adults. We should not begin to see people as means to an end. Sure we should enjoy our experiences and time with one another but this joy should not change just because The form changes, or the person can no longer fulfill the false purpose we've imposed on them. Another problem is we're always calculating and scheming and expecting! That's the big one...expecting. We all say we love this or that form...we grow attached to it based on the service it provides...and then we attach our expectations to it. We define it. We plan on it. And as soon as our expectations are not met...."Peace!" "I 'm out" Holla! Is this love? Love is Giving Seeking No-thing in return!(yes emotion is a thing as well).

No, I'm Happy...

When we know our Self and apply what we know that is wisdom. The fruits that we produce for our application of this knowledge is Love. When I know my Self and Love my Self I am Secure within my Self. Neither my love, Happiness, or any other emotion is attached to externals....I AM Centered. Now I can really Love....this is everlasting love. This is everlasting happiness. It all stems from within...not without. Have you ever seen someone who didn't love themselves? Someone who wasn't sure of themselves? Someone Insecure? That's a tough situation isn't it? Its difficult for that person to give those things right? to show love? When we look for love, joy, and peace outside of our Self, we are looking for love in all the wrong places. Also since we look for these in the transitory, the finite forms, what we find will never last. Then we end up like Vivian Green on and Emotional Roller coaster !... (lol Peace Queen Green!)


When we get back to Self Centeredness we get back to oneness and when we get to Oneness we get back to selflessness and when we get here we know love because we know Self ! let It marinate! Peace


  1. The unfortunate reality of this society teaches people from childhood that we are somehow unfinished or unwhole until we have a "mate". This falacy leads to so much disharmony as people think they are supposed to feel unfinished and look for others that are also unfinished to get with so they can become whole but as you specified above this is where the disparity comes in. WE must realize that we are already whole. Thanks for the post- more people need to read messages like this so that we may evolve.
    There is a book I often refer a lot of people to on the subject of love- it is called The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz- its message is much the same as yours but he also gives instructions on what we need to do to love ourselves.

  2. This was a very good read Brother. It really flowed nice and was easy to understand. Thumbs up!

  3. Peace! Thanks for the comments and positive energy! This science must be applied and taught so that be can begin to shape the world in our divine Self image. Each One Teach One Peace